


Gone & Back

by InTheMiddleOFOceans



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Carmilla - Freeform, F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheMiddleOFOceans/pseuds/InTheMiddleOFOceans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura comes back into Carmilla's life six years after she practically dissapeared.</p><p>Time jumps -or flashbacks- because I want to. A little angst, and some things I don't even know how happened but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If this gets some attention I'll try and update once a week. I am on tumblr too if you wanna go ask anything? http://be-my-hero-i-will-be-yours.tumblr.com

The phone buzzing for the third time made him turn and push his partner. It wasn't hIs waking up time yet and they surely were not gonna answer LaFontaine's phone, but it was 7:30 in the morning, on a Saturday and the only person that could be up at that hour would be either Danny or drunk Carmilla, but Carmilla hadn't been drunk for years now.

"LaFontaine, your phone is buzzing" said JP in his distinctive accent, earning a growl before they sat and took the call.

"You better have a good reason to wake me up this early on a Saturday, Lawrence" they said. The silence of Danny talking on the other side, followed by a startled LaFontaine getting up and totally awake.

"oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit... When is it scheduled? What time?" An apologetic look and they going out of the room, then out of the place. There was nothing important JP could remember LaF had to do that day, but he was sure they would tell him eventually, so he went back to sleep.

 

* * *

Perry was, of course, already awake at her home. Starting with the cleansing of the place, interrupted by the phone. Taking her time she answered after the fifth ring.

"Hello? Oh! Danny, what a nice surprise to call this early! How are you?".

Next thing, Perry was getting ready to leave her house with a very worried expression. It was a beautiful morning, and it had just being ruined with those news.

 

* * *

 

In the meantime, Kirsch and Danny were breaking camp, far into the woods of Styria. Danny piling stuff while on the phone, Kirsch folding the tents and tying them on the respective bags. There was no way they were gonna be back on time.

"This is all your fault Wilson!" Were the words Danny used when she finally got her phone back and checked her inbox. They had an excursion once a month, and every time Danny was glued to her phone, only this time Kirsch had managed to steal the phone and make it seem like she forgot. It was a nice trip, Danny deserved to be relaxed for at least one day but he felt guilty and told her.

"I've got your phone all the time D-bear"

"Don't call me that"

"Yeah and I just wanted you to have a nice and relaxed time y'know? I'm sorry"

Danny took it just fine, until she turned it on and got a mail with some details about some interview happening that same day later at 9 am. Then she got mad. Crazy mad. And worried. And Kirsch felt worried as well as guilty. His heart beating hard all the way back to the car and then back to Silas. There was no was they were gonna be back on time.

 

* * *

 

Theo got to Silas Dinner before 7 am. He cursed -like every morning- his job, cleaned up, pre sliced the pies, made the mix for the pancakes and pre heated the grill. He cursed one more time for getting to like the job he got imposed instead of going to jail after, well, burning down the zetas house when he was kicked out -long story short, he deserved it-.

Students came in and out, some stayed to have breakfast, some took the food for the road and then came in the woman Mel had told him about.

_"Same deal, a booth away from other costumers. Close a side of the dinner if you have to, is just this new person will take my place because I can't do it this Saturday" she said._

_"Or you're just scared of Carmilla" he said._

_"Carmilla is the reason you're running this place and not getting matching tattoos and a boyfriend in jail. Just get my space ready"_ Mel said and hung up. And sHe was right. Carmilla had told him to choose between jail and mopping floors until he paid the damage. He started with floors and now he was in charge -and part of his salary was being reduced to keep paying his debt-. 

The woman got in at 8:50, told him about the interview and that she was taking Mel's place. He got her to the booth and watched her wait for more than an half an hour until Carmilla got in.

"I'm here to meet Mel, bro head"

"Good morning to you too. Mel sent someone else, she couldn't make it. She is waiting in a booth, on the left side, I'll take you" Theo said, stoping from going around the counter when Carmilla stared at him. "Or I won't... I'll take the pancakes and coffee to you shortly".

"Looks like Mel left everything set" Carmilla said, making her way to meet the other woman.

The clock was marking 9:50 when Perry and LaFontaine rushed in, knocking a student. "Oh I'm so sorry!" Said Perry, helping the fallen girl up.

"What the hell is happening?" Asked Theo, plate of pancakes on his hands. LaF had stopped dead on their tracks, realizing it was a little too late to do anything.

* * *

 

Laura had got a job as soon as she arrived at Styria. She had a great background, experience and she happened to be the last Voice of Silas Editor in times of Lilita Morgan, so she didn't need much of a recommendation or a background digging. Mel knew who she was in terms of journalism.

To say she was nervous was accurate and not. She wasn't nervous about interviewing Carmilla, but she was. She wasn't nervous about starting a job, but she was. She wasn't nervous about running into her old friends, but she surely was. It was this tiny fact that she was gone for a couple of years what made her nervous.

Laura arrived to the dinner Mel told her about ten minutes before nine, not too early nor too soon to meet Carmilla. She said hi to the guy on the counter -she had read his story back in VOS and it was interesting-, he took her to the booth and there she did wait.

She rejected his coffee at 9:02 and asked for a hot cocoa instead. "I'm not much of a coffee drinker, sorry" Laura said when Theo -as he introduced himself- told her his coffee was really good. At 9:20 she went into the washing room and asked for a cookie from Theo when she got out, looking at the door when it got open just to see a pair of students getting in.

Laura texted Mel at 9:40 saying she was leaving. Carmilla didn't arrive.

 _"She is always late, don't leave or she'll never agree to an interview with us again"_ Mel texted back, so Laura stayed. Five minutes later she heard Carmilla's voice, talking to Theo. It took Carmilla three minutes since she got in the dinner to when she stood in front of Laura. She counted.

At 9:48 Laura said Hi to Carmilla, and watched how Carmilla's smirk disappeared from her face, to be replaced by a blank expression. Two minutes later she heard the door open aggressively and Perry's voice. She got up and looked back to her and LaF.

 

* * *

 

The alarm went off at 8 am, giving her one hour and a half to get ready. But she did slide her screen to the right and went back to sleep. Is not like she was irresponsible, it was a little bit the fact it was a Saturday and that she didn't want to be on time where she had to be at 9. It would feed the _"you are always late no matter what"_ argument from Danny and the _"you clearly need to care more"_ one from Perry.

It was very clear she cared, right? After all, she had done and changed a lot to prove it. Or enough at least. She just wasn't very excited about it. After all, Carmilla had opposed to every try of all media to get a hold of and interview her, but this was a Silas Voice research interview and according to her friends, she couldn't say no.

"You can't deny an interview to the newspaper of the University you own" Danny had said. "It is the 3rd anniversary since they got back to business"

"And why can't they ask you the questions? You're the Dean, I just put the money" Carmilla said.

"Because it is the anniversary! They already asked us all questions. They want something bigger for this third year" said Perry, passing a plate of brownies -skipping JP- for they to eat.

"Well they could wait for the tenth year for me! Tell them to interview Kirsch. Hell, Mel can interview herself just leave me out of it" Carmilla bickered.

Somehow, at the end of their weekly dinner she had accepted.

Carmilla got up at 9:03, arrived to Silas Dinner at 9:45. She teased Theo, as usually. She made her way to the booth he pointed at to find this person -that wasn't Mel because why would she be there after so much insistence?- for the interview.

Her heart sank at 9:48 when she found herself face to face with Laura Hollis, six years after their last encounter and her stomach turned around just a second later when she said hi.

Carmilla's brain turned off, staring at Laura for a couple of minutes until Perry and LaF rushed in the place, making a scene as usually and Laura stood up to look at them both, but Carmilla couldn't look away. At 9:51 she shook her head, passed by Laura, ignored Perry and LaFontaine and got out of the dinner.

She called Danny, who answered right away.

"Carmilla I am so sorry. I just got to read the mail Mel sent to me. I could have warned you, I'm really close to your place" she said.

"So you didn't know?" Carmilla asked, a knot in her throat.

"No, of course I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you. I mean I hate you but not that much" Danny said, and Carmilla laughed. They were in silence on the phone. Carmilla got to her place and waited outside for Kirsch to drop Danny. When she got there, the call was still running and when Danny got off the car Carmilla finally spoke again.

"She is back"

* * *

 

 

 

 

> _"To the Dean of Silas_
> 
> _Miss (yeah sure) Danny Lawrence:_
> 
> _On behalf of the upcoming interview with Carmilla Karnstein for the three year anniversary issue of the Voice of Silas special article, I am very sad to inform that I won't be able to do it myself BUT there is a new person in the team and she is very experienced. Also she said she knows Carmilla._
> 
> _I'm sorry Lawrence, I had a wedding and I wasn't gonna assist but then this person came in and now I can assist. Rain check? But huge thanks for convincing the boss to do it._
> 
> _I've spoken to Theo and he is gonna give them a quiet place to go through with the interview and I'll meet Miss Hollis on Monday to start edition and then publish the article when the anniversary date arrives._
> 
> _Don't get mad, I really need this weekend off. Have a nice camp trip with bro dude. Watch out for mosquitos._
> 
> _Yours truly Melanippe Callis._
> 
> _Voice Of Silas Editor because someone couldn't let me be the Summers Guardian._
> 
> _But I love my job, Thanks Lawrence._
> 
> _P.s. Her name is Laura Hollis."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know there could be doubts. Go clear them up at be-my-hero-i-will-be-yours.tumblr.com

It was obvious for Laura, Lilita Morgan was gone for good from Silas. Now Danny Lawrence occupied that position. To know how wasn't her job -and she had read an old interview with Danny from back when VoS got back to business-. Carmilla had asked Danny to get the job. Danny agreed.

Danny got rid of the creepy wallpaper and the dark curtains -having being there a couple of times in her college years, Laura could remember some things about the office-. The Summer Society colors where present, along with the scutcheon and the Zetas one -and the rest of the clubs and groups of the university, because of course Danny Lawrence would not leave them out-.

The dean's office looked bigger, but it felt so small in that moment. Danny was pacing all around the place, LaFontaine was sitting on the couch placed in front of the tall window, Perry was sitting on the other end practically avoiding to look at each other which was strange but Laura figured she could ask them about that later. Her mind was a little more worried about getting to talk with her. Or about her.

"So... Can I ask you? How has she been?"

Danny stared at Laura for what the last felt was a long amount of hours, had only been seconds. "I don't think is okay for us to tell you... To talk about Carmilla's life without her knowing."

"You guys don't need to be this... Weird around me. You know me"

"Do we, though?" LaF spat back, not even looking at and being this the first time they said a word to Laura.

"Laura, uh, I think we are just a little... Resentful too" said Perry. "After all it's been seven years..."

"Six" Laura tried to correct.

LaFontaine turned their head so fast they possibly got whiplash "You were making seven years in three months. Happy anniversary!" They said sourly, getting up and leaving. Perry looked at them and then to Laura as if she wanted to say sorry for them, but she didn't. She stood up and went after LaF.

Danny took a sit and sighed. "So, how've you been, Hollis?"

"I'd be better if my friends... If my... If you guys wouldn't... I've been good, Danny. Thanks for asking" said Laura, looking at the door her sometime friends had gone out. "Congrats on your job as Dean. I've read you are less scary and more respected than the last person on the spot"

"I've been the Dean for some years now, but thank you. And yeah, we try to keep everything as good as possible" Danny said, somewhat hypnotized by a spot in the floor. "I was very surprised when I read Mel's e-mail... You could've called me you know? My number is in the directory. We could have received you uh... Better"

"You mean you could have warned Carmilla... I'm glad you're good friends now"

Danny smiled. "Yeah. I mean we don't call each other friends but, I guess we kinda are?"

"Please tell me... How has she been?" Laura asked again, barely audible voice.

"Is not my story to tell, Laura" Danny told her. She looked out of the window for a brief moment. "I think... It depends on _when_ do you want to know. How has she been _when_? Last week? Lash month? The first year after you disappeared?"

Laura looked to her feet. "I wanted to call. I wanted to explain but I didn't really have an explanation. And then when I thought I had one it had been months, and then I realized that it wasn't a real reason and so went on"

"But what about us" said LaFontaine, coming back in the office followed by Perry. "You left us too. We were supposed to be your friends Laura. We were standing by you when you started all those riots back in Silas, in here" they said, pointing out of the window. "I mean alright, I understand we are not Carmilla. We were not entitled to reasons but we got worried tons when you just vanished"

"And your dad could only tell us you were fine. He was the only one that could say you were alive and well" said Perry, standing next to LaF who was standing as far as they could from Laura.

Laura was trying hard to look at her old friends in the eye, failing to keep their gaze.

"I visited your dad this one time, and Carmilla was there. She looked... Tired" continued Perry, looking between LaF and Danny expecting one of them told her to stop talking. "She saw me and then turned to your dad and only said "just do me that last favor, Sherman. I wish you nothing but the best" and she left not even giving me a look"

"She asked him to not talk to me about her ever again..." Related Laura, recalling the phone call with her dad. "He sounded so disappointed on me... He said, "I was always worried Carmilla was gonna break your heart, I never thought I should have worried about you breaking hers. She deserved better from you Laura"... And he was right". They stayed silent. Laura was sure she could hear a feather fall in such silence. "I know apologies are useless, but I am sorry. I wanted to apologize with her first. But she just... She won't talk to me, will she?"

"She has a name. And since you won't stop inquiring my friends about me, I figured I could as well answer by myself" Said Carmilla, getting in without knocking. "Don't look at me like that Xena, you're the one who said "I want the students to know my door is always open and they're welcome to approach me"" she mocked Danny, who was about to comment on Carmilla's entrance.

"You are not a student, Karnstein" said Danny.

Carmilla raised her eyebrows on her usual sassy way. "So I own the place and pay your salary but I am not welcome in your office? I'm practically your boss, amazon"

"Oh so now you're on charge? Perfect! There's a lot of subjects we need to discuss, Boss" Danny talked back, gesturing to her desk at the other side of the office where a mountain of files were lying. "Please feel free to read and make the choices"

For a moment, Carmilla's lips formed a small smile. It was one of those she used to wear when she was being a smartass as Laura remembered. It was like going back for a moment, until LaF cleared their throat. Carmilla turned to look at them and nodded with the same smile she directed to Danny, and then turned to Perry to do the same, wearing it off when she acknowledged Laura's presence.

"Hey..." Said Laura, getting up to meet Carmilla's gaze. Carmilla stared at her for two seconds and then took a seat on the couch Danny was on.

"So, what is this interview about?" Carmilla asked. Laura sat back down. "Mel said it was about me getting to where I am, owning the University and placing my friends in the places they are" she continued, not looking at Laura anymore or at all.

She did get it right away. Carmilla was there not to talk with her, she was there to talk about the Voice of Silas article. After all, it was only fair since Laura's job was to go the interview. "Yeah. But, I wanted to go somewhat deeper if you let me" she said. "I've read old papers and it is known you got to own what you have after your mother's dead"

"My mother, and my sister's" said Carmilla, earning a shoulder bump from Danny which made Laura's ears feel a little warm. "Mother's property was split between me and my brother William. Mattie had only me as heiress of all she had. Will took the half far from Styria and I got this school. And as I've said countless times, I have no idea where he is or if he is fine. We never got along".

"I know" Laura said. It was a statement Carmilla didn't take well, judging by the cold glare she got from her. "I mean... I read it, somewhere. You know since you've said it before and I read some articles before this session and it was a subject where you always responded with that or something like that"

Carmilla tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Well all those years and the woman can't loose all the babbling" she said with a smug expression. "However. This is stupid..." She looked at Danny, "they already have old articles. The answers won't change..." She looked back to Laura. "You can build your special article from those, Ms. Hollis"

"You can call me by name, Carmilla" Laura said to the mention of her last name. "And I... I didn't come just to get a chance to interview you. I want... I'm here because... We need to talk, Carm".

The cold glare came back to Carmilla's face. Standing up she approached Danny's library in large steps, holding to the edge of it.

"I think you should go" Perry's voice said.

"What? No. I'm not leaving before you agree to talk to me, Carm" said Laura, getting up and standing behind Carmilla. "I need to talk with you. Alone"

"There's no fucking way we're leaving you alone with her" LaFontaine spoke this time.

"That's up for Carmilla to decide!" Laura yelled back, letting her nervousness get the best of her, immediately giving LaF a sorry look. "I'm sorry but I need to, we need to talk alone Carm"

Danny got up form her spot and walked towards Carmilla, who was now breathing deeply and mumbling some words Laura couldn't make out. "It's okay, Karnstein. You're okay"  
  
"What's going on?" Laura asked, looking between the four of them. Carmilla kept mumbling some phrase while Danny was just standing beside her. "Carm?"

Carmilla seemed more calm, already loosing her tight grip. "Thank you" she said to Danny. "Can you guys give us a moment?"

"You can't be serious" LaF said, giving a step forward but being stopped by Perry. This was the first time in months Carmilla had seen Perry having contact with them. Maybe Laura's return wasn't all that bad.

"It's okay LaFontaine, if I need you all I'm just gonna throw something through the door's glass" Carmilla said.

"Or you can just yell our names? No need to damage my office, Elvira" Danny said, making her way to the door followed by Perry and LaF. "We'll be right out there. You just call us"

Carmilla rolled her eyes at Danny, taking a pencil from her desk and letting it fall to the floor, "Oh no, the order of the place has been broken. What ever are we gonna do?"

"Fuck you" Danny said getting out. She was already out when her arm reappeared on the door flipping off Carmilla, making the latter giggle.

"It's so weird..." Laura said. "You and Danny actually getting along so well..."

Carmilla looked at her -through her- and made her way back to the couch. "Yeah. It take some work to do. Sorry about what happened before" she said, motioning with her hand to the place she had lost it for a moment. "It doesn't happen often, and I can count on Lawrence and the rest"

"Are you dating?" Laura blurted out, regretting her words immediately when Carmilla turned her head so fast, giving her that cold stare again. "I mean... Did you?"

"First of all, that is not something you have the right to ask. Is not your business. You walked out of my life and lost any right I ever gave you to ask anything about me" Carmilla said coldly. "That being said, no we are not and we never did, and I am giving you an answer only because the thought of someone, ANYONE thinking that me and Xena could ever be in a relationship other than -friends- makes me shiver"

Another moment of silence took over the place. There were so many words in Laura's mind she wasn't sure where to start. _"Do I apologize? Should I ask how has she been?"_ She thought. Carmilla was playing with her leather jacket's zipper and looking out the window when Laura looked at her, just like she used to do anytime they were visiting LaF and Perry back in the years. She would just sit near a window and let Laura and her friends chat or do whatever they had to do when they joined. "You're gonna break the zipper" Laura said.

Carmilla stopped for a second to look at Laura and continued to play with the thing. "Is not like I actually use it for its original purpose at all" she answered, but stopping after that. "I thought, for being a journalist or whatever, you would be on the tenth of a hundred very elaborated questions, Cupcake".

The nickname got both off guard. Laura wasn't expecting it and Carmilla didn't even think about it. It just slipped her mind and her mouth and now the girl who left her years ago would think she was over it. She was, but sometimes people need face to face closure and that was the only reason Carmilla was there. At first she thought on letting everything go down on Laura. Let her know how her life went down when she left, but it wasn't worth it. Carmilla wanted that stupid anniversary interview to be over, and then she would go back to her life, not without first going to the VoS quarters and throw one to Melanippe for not attending her own business.

"I'm sorry" Laura said.

"It's okay. You already know about the money, and that. What else?" Carmilla said, leaning forward on her seat.

Laura swallowed and took a deep breath. "No... I mean... I'm so, so sorry for leaving" she said, her voice trembling. "I don't have an acceptable explanation for it, and I did regret it as soon as I did" she continued, tears filling her eyes. "But then I got scared you would be mad and... I couldn't... I was scared to come back... And then a week had passed, and then a month and..."

"And then six years" Carmilla finished, her face emotionless.

"That day in the coffee place, I was so happy to see you" said Laura, wiping off the tears that escaped her eyes. "I heard you talk with that Theo guy and you sounded like the old Carmilla, like you didn't change. You had a snarky smile and then you saw me and left and I got so sad, thinking I deserved that and I spent all Sunday thinking I would never get you to talk to me again..."

"Because I am a resentful bitch" Carmilla said with her sassy tone.

"No, not at all, not that" Laura says right away, cleaning her face. "Is just, I did not know how my... How much it had affected you. But I read things about you and you were fine but I was in doubt... And now I see you being friends with my friends and can't help but think you were okay all along and it makes me feel better"

Carmilla frowns, her jaw tightens and a look Laura could only describe as hateful forms in her eyes. _All along_ were the words that got into Carmilla.

"If you can really think that I was fine all along, that I didn't have a struggle, then you never really knew me, Cupcake" she said. "I'll see you tomorrow at Lawrence's. You want a story, I want closure. We both could get what we want" Carmilla stood up and left the office, the memory of _that_ day in her mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_"Holy shit!" Said LaFontaine, putting their hands over mouth and nose when Danny opened the door to Carmilla's place. "This place reeks. It smells like something died and rotted in here"_

_"Yeah, well, lets hope is not a someone" said Danny, covering her lower face as well._

_Perry and Kirsch followed behind, the first with rubber gloves, face-mask an apron on. The latter carrying all kind of cleaning products and tools, trash bags and buckets. Perry took down the mask, tilted her head and took a deep breath to everybody else's horror. "It smells like weeks of old food and dirty clothes. Also, do we know if Carmilla owns a cat or some sort of pet? Because, if not, then we also have a rodent problem" she said._

_"That was kinda cool but very disgusting at the same time" said Kirsch, putting down all of the stuff he was carrying for Perry._

_Danny closed the door once everybody was in and went to open the windows (utter dirty windows) on the other side of the room, kicking bottles of beer, cans of soup and something she wished it was some kind of cloths. "Alright so if we need to make this intervention we need to find Carmilla first" she said._

_"Found her!"_

_LaFontaine came out of a door Danny assumed was Carmilla's room. She had never been in there before, they used to meet at Laura's. Carmilla was always at Laura's. She walked in and scanned the room. Boxes of pizza -some with slices left- and left overs of all kinds of food carpeting the floor. Mixed with dirty clothes and shoes, it seemed like one of those tv shows where people need to get their shit together. Danny always thought those shows were fake, but now she wasn't all sure._

_The not-so-white-anymore walls were stained in some parts. She was hoping they were food stains. She was sure some were food marks -she got to clean some of her own walls when LaFontaine decided ti make a quick experiment with pizza when they came over once-. There were signs of once hanged and now lost picture frames, and some poster sized ones. The last ones soon to be found behind a drawer._

_"Open the windows, I'm gonna wake her up" Danny said, approaching the mess of a woman sleeping upside down across the bed in what she thought were her last night clothes. "Karnstein" she called, not wanting to shake Carmilla awake because who knows how is she when she is startled after a drunk night, but no response at all. "Damn... Carmilla!" She yelled, with no results._

_"Let me try" said LaF standing next to the window and opening the curtains, letting the sun get in._

_Carmilla growled, frowned and buried her face between the dirty sheets and clothes, but the morning light had already made its way to her retina and sent a message to her brain. She was awake now. "Close them!" Carmilla yelled, or tried to with raspy voice accompanying her hangover. Nobody moved. "I said fucking close them!" She yelled again, clumsily getting off the bed and closing the windows herself. She let her eyes get readjusted to the dark room and looked at the two people in her room. "How the fuck did you get in? And what are you doing here?"_

_"Door wasn't locked" Danny said, opening the windows again and earning a glare from Carmilla. "And we're here to help you"_

_Carmilla ignored both Danny and LaFontaine and got out of the room, making her way to the kitchen and groaning at the amount of light coming in through her open living room windows._

_"Hey Carmsexy! Goodmorning!" Said an effusive Kirsch, throwing what seemed a pair of underwear into a black trash bag._

_"I think you mean good evening, Kirsch" said Perry, emptying containers of chinese food in a green bag and throwing them empty into a yellow one. "Carmilla, I need to ask you. The underwear, are you gonna keep it or throw it away? Because if you're gonna keep it I'll have to wash it at least three times before you use it"_

_Kirsch and LaF both said "gross" while Danny rolled her eyes. They weren't there to just clean the place. Carmilla waved her hand, not caring about the destiny of what LaF supposed were the underwear of the girls she screwed in multiple attempts of rebound. They felt sad about it. Carmilla walked to the sink looking for a clean glass. She found none and Perry eagerly left what she was doing and washed one for her._

_"Thanks" said Carmilla. She filled with water and drank it empty three times. She then opened the counter, looking for something. Everybody stopped and gathered around the kitchen counter, waiting. "What..." Carmilla said, brushing her hair with her hand and turning in her spot, glancing on every corner of her kitchen. She opened every door, every drawer, opened and closed the fridge twice before she landed eyes on Perry. "Where is it?" She asked angrily, but in a low voice._

_"It's gone" Danny answered, but Carmilla didn't break the contact with Perry until she eyed the already filled bags near the door. She pushed Perry aside and reached for them, kicking one by one until the sound of glass came out of a red one._

_She torn it open and retrieved bottle after bottle of wine, vodka, whisky, rum, tequila, you name it... all of them empty. Carmilla realized Perry had emptied them all. She took a bottle and approached Perry. "Do you have any idea how much this costs? Of course you don't! You stupid redhead! This bottle is worth six times your fucking rent!"_

_"Carmilla, stop!" Said LaF, stepping between them. "This is an intervention after all. We're trying to help you"_

_"Shut up! I'm not the one who gets excited thinking how things would look on fire" Carmilla spat at them, poking their chest with the hand holding her empty whisky bottle. "Get the fuck out of my place!"_

_"We're not leaving, Karnstein. It's been eight months since... It's been eight months and you're just going down since then. You need help" Danny said, drifting Carmilla's attention to her. "Have you seen this place? How can you live here? You had too many empty bottles of alcohol and way too many full boxes of delivery food"_

_"And what do you care? I don't care how long's been. I've moved on. I'm living my life the way I want. This is not your fucking business" she said, throwing the empty bottle against the kitchen wall, almost hitting Perry in the head who screamed and if not for LaF who made her duck would now have an open skull. Carmilla didn't seem to care._

_"You're extremely hangover!" Danny yelled back, this was not the way they had planned it. "Carmilla we're your friends"_

_"You're her friends! Not mine!" She yelled. "You're not my friend, you're nothing to me. You are the girl always after her. I had to tolerate you for her but I am free of all of it now, so get the fuck out of my place!"_

_"Laura. Her name is Laura. Call her by name and we'll leave" Danny said, instantly getting the coldest glare she ever saw Carmilla do. "You can't. You can't say her name without falling to pieces and you're already pretty fucked up so don't come to us with this shit, Carmilla"_

_Before Danny could keep talking, Carmilla jumped -bounced- against her, knocking her to the floor. Fortunately she was still a Summer and could take the fall as well as the first punch Carmilla intended to connect to her face, but Kirsch had been fast enough to lift a very enraged Carmilla._

_He took her by the waist from behind, Carmilla threw punches and kicks to the air. She growled and yelled and stretched her arms behind and pulled his hair and scratched his ear. "Ouch, ouch! Not cool bro! Stop fighting!" Kirsch complained, trying to restrain Carmilla with just enough force but she wasn't just angry, she was enraged at them. Danny got up and nodded for Kirsch to follow her to the bathroom with the still growling Carmilla. Danny made a mental note of calling her something feline related later, when she was better._

_"No no no, I haven't cleaned up there!" Perry said, following them into the bathroom with LaF by her side._

_"Yeah Per, but also if you're gonna do what I think you're gonna do, I don't think it's a good idea, Lawrence" LaF said, getting in at the moment Danny stepped back after turning on the shower._

_Carmilla stopped her struggle when Kirsch stepped in front of the tub about to drop her under the cold running water. "Don't you dare, Wilson. I swear if you do it I'll get payback on everything you love" she said, before being pushed._

_Danny took Kirsch's place to stop Carmilla from getting out -he seriously looked affected by having done that-. Perry tried to organize the bathroom, LaF was sitting on the pile of towels on the floor, and Kirsch was leaning against the doorframe. Carmilla stared at Danny, her eyes making it feel like hours when only had been minutes, silent minutes._

_"Why?" Carmilla asked with a tearful voice before getting down on her knees, her clothes soaked, hair over her face and last night's eyeliner almost gone from her eyes and face. "Why?" She asked again, her tears mixing up with cold water._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have figured this out, the second part in italics are a flashback, or a jump back in time? A memory? Something like that. I know I said I might update every week but it gets a little harder to construct a chapter.  
> Anyway please comment! Let me know if I made some mistakes.  
> http://be-my-hero-i-will-be-yours.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just in case...

_"Hey so... Ok, uh Kirsch and... What's her name again?" Carmilla asked over the music.  
_

_"Sarah Jane" said the guy that was holding the camera._

_"Right, Sophie" Carmilla stared at the camera for a long time, as if she was thinking her words, choosing them carefully until she spoke again. "I don't know anything about your relationship. I missed everything of it but if you're getting married then... You probably love each other, and I'm happy for you, I guess..."_

_"Theeeere you are!" Said a very worried Kirsch, taking Carmilla's drink off her hand and making her walk away from the camera. "She loves you Kirsch, She's happy for you and congratulations!" He said to himself, coming back into the screen and then off again with a drunk Carmilla._

_"Heey! He was recording my message for the puppy guy!" Said a not so convincingly annoyed Carmilla._

_Kirsch took her to the bar and got her a glass of cold water "and I'm gonna go make sure it doesn't make it to the final cut" he said, turning to the bartender afterwards, "excuse me? My broody friend here is off alcohol please. No matter how much she begs or what she offers you in exchange, not a single drop of alcohol. And I know you think she is good looking, I know she looks like a badass hottie but if I find out you gave her booze I am just gonna say I have a friend who is pretty good at making things burn" he said, looking threateningly and off he went to attend some guests._

* * *

 

This was the first time Kirsch used such thing to find Carmilla. First of all because he didn't really know how it worked and secondly, because he was worried. Really worried. He'd been driving around Silas after dropping by Carmilla's and not finding her. He called her, but she didn't pick so he did the next best thing he could think of, which was calling Perry. If he called Danny, she was gonna flip and go all Summer on him until he found her. If he called LaFontaine, they would probably start a search brigade with all the people they know and even make a virtual spread to find Carmilla. So he called Perry.

"I knew this was gonna be of use" she said after Kirsch arrived at her place. "None of you wanted to activate the "search your friends" but I convinced you all and now... there she is" Perry said, going through Kirsch's phone and then handing it to him when Carmilla's location was on the map. "What's in there?" She asked.

Kirsch took a look at the map and tried to seem calm. "Ah, is just that new pizza place. I'll go find her" he said, leaving a suspecting Perry behind. Truth be told, Carmilla was signaled in a venue where the only business where Pubs and Nightclubs.  
He wanted to check on her after what had happened in the last days. He was worried Laura's return would jeopardize Carmilla's progress.

When Kirsch arrived, he spotted Carmilla from afar in a hot dog stand arguing with someone. When he got closer, he recognized Mel, from the Silas' paper in front of Carimlla. When she spotted him, he waved hi to her and Carmilla left Mel by herself. "This subject isn't finished, Callis" she said sourly.

"Hey Carmsexy!" Kirsch greeted, but Carmilla's glare stopped him from keep talking.

"Don't Carmsexy me, bro head" she said. She started walking to the opposite way of the venue. "Of everyone, I would've thought you had more faith in me" Carmilla said to him.

He walked beside her until they reached his car, which didn't surprise him because Carmilla never drives. "I was worried. After the days you've had, I thought you... well..."

"You thought I would relapse" Carmilla said. Kirsch could sense her anger and he waited for her to yell at him or something, but she didn't. Instead, one single tear rolled down her face and she wiped it off. "Please take me home" she said finally.

The drive to Carmilla's was silent. They got in and Kirsch ordered some Chinese food. They were in complete silence until the food arrived and they sat to eat.

"I do, you know? Have faith in you" he said with a mouthful. "But I also get it, what is like to being under pressure and tempted. I wanted to be with you just in case you needed me".

Carmilla looked at him and smirked, but said nothing else. Kirsch smiled at her and they just finished their food. Carmilla never got any kind of TV service, so they mostly just sat in silence, moving from the kitchen table to the terrace in Carmilla's building. That was their thing, just to sit in silence and enjoy whatever view was in front or above them.

"What are you gonna do tomorrow?" He asked before leaving.

"I'm gonna have an interview. If I know you all, I think you guys will be there... just in case" Carmilla said.

"What if she asks what you been up to?"

Carmilla seemed to analyze that possibility before giving an answer. "I think we'll see what happens tomorrow" she finally said. She wasn't excited about having any kind of deep talk with Laura. She didn't feel ready for it, but she had to do it now that there was a chance. "See you tomorrow pup" she said to Kirsch, closing the door after him.

* * *

 

_Carmilla came into the small studio at Kirsch's home looking after him. She had gone through all the place but there, when he finally found him on the back porch._

_He was sitting in one of the, too small for him, garden chairs, with a hand on bottle of scotch almost empty placed on the table. Kirsch's face was pale, his nose a bright red and stains of tears going from his swollen eyes, down his cheeks._

_"Hey beefcake, I've been looking for you" Carmilla said, sitting next to him but Kirsch didn't look up. "Perry says you disappeared from the service"_

_He didn't say anything, but just stared at his dark backyard. The lights were off and there was no streetlight that reached it. He just kept staring at the further bushes._  
Carmilla followed his sight and leaned back in her chair when she spotted what Kirsch was seeing.  
Fireflies going on and off around the bushes. There were as many as to resemble fairylights, she thought. They just looked at the, for a while until the night started to chill.

_"Do you want a drink" a drunken Kirsch finally talked. "I think there still is a bottle in there" he said, trying to get up._

_Carmilla stopped him and took the bottle from his hand. "I think you've had enough puppy. And I can't drink" she said._

_"Oh shit, that's true. I'm sorry Karnstein" he said, dully. "I came here looking for... I don't remember what! And I found this bottle and it was her favorite and I just thought, one last cup on her honor, y'know? But then, the bottle is almost gone and you're here! Hi!" Kirsch said, dragging his words between drunken giggles. "Oh I'm so stupid, I shouldn't be drunk around you, I'm sorry"_

_Carmilla looked at the bottle's content and furrowed her nose before putting it down. "It's okay Kirsch. Let me help you in" she said, trying to carry some of his weight but failing two times before Danny joined her and helped her getting him into the guests room. "Sleep it off" Danny said before getting out. Carmilla turned the lights off and was leaving when Kirsch called her name._

_"Yeah?" She said, waiting for Kirsch to continue and starting to think he had fallen asleep when he spoke again._

_"How did you cope?" He asked. "I know is not the same, she could be either dead or alive but... how?"_

_"I didn't..." Carmilla said._

_Kirsch sighed, and added "Oh..." with a broken voice._

_"Look..." she said, approaching the bed with Kirsch's back to her. "I didn't cope. I hurt myself. I was drunk most of the time, getting on with girls I don't even remember and eating every other day... I started to cope after you guys came to my rescue. And even then I don't think I coped... I moved on, but I'm still not over everything, I still drag some weight but back then I had you guys... you have us now, Kirsch"_

_"Thanks" Kirsch said, and with that Carmilla left the room._

_The next day, Kirsch came out of the room to find his friends cleaning his home and making breakfast. Perry and Danny were moving in the kitchen while LaFontaine folded and organized sheets and blankets. They all slept in there. Carmilla was still laying down on his couch when Perry caught him._

_"Hi Kirsch! Good morning" she said, making them all stop and look at him. Even Carmilla got up. "We're cooking and cleaning, you can take a shower if you want while we're at it"_

_Kirsch walked in the middle of the room, he tried to think of the words "thank you", but his brain decided otherwise._

_"She's dead... and I missed her service" he said, falling to his knees and sobbing._

_Carmilla was the first one by his side, comforting him._

_"We're here for you. We're here if you need us" she said. "We'll be here... just in case"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, it's been a while.... and for a short one... sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a little short, but lets call it an introduction. I hope to get some comments on what you guys think?


End file.
